Welcome to My Blog of Hope and Healing After Suicide Loss

  • That Time I Was Accused Of Murder

    August 7, 2019 by

    That’s right, I was accused of murdering my fiancé after he committed suicide. Have you ever had someone say something about you that was so false, such a clear fabrication, that it made you sick to your stomach? Has anyone ever said that you said or did something you know you didn’t, and the injustice… Read more

  • Katie’s Story

    August 6, 2019 by

    My life would forever change on January 13th, 2019 when my fiance took his life in the heat of a moment, while under the influence. Hello! My name is Katie! I am an animal lover, a nature lover, hiking enthusiast, a yogi, wedding photographer, nanny, a student to become a therapist, a bereaved fiance, Suicide… Read more

  • 10 Coping Skills to Heal Your Heart After Suicide Loss

    October 30, 2019 by

    “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen Just 10 months ago, I witnessed my fiance’s suicide by shotgun. To say the pain was practically unbearable, is the understatement of the century. Witnessing such horrors, and watching my love die right in front of me, forever changed me. It… Read more

  • Healing Suicide Grief Through Mindful Meditation

    October 28, 2019 by

    “How could he do this to me? How could he leave me? Leave us? Why did he take his life when there was so much good in it? How could he leave me with these bills to pay by myself? How could his family accuse me of having something to do with it? How could… Read more

  • My Wedding Vows That Became Your Eulogy

    October 1, 2019 by

    Andy, My love. My confidant. My best friend. My partner in all things. You were one of the most caring and best people I’ve known. My favorite person. You were an artist, a musician, and an eternal student, always wanting to learn more. You are my love, my light, my reason. You were my partner,… Read more

  • Things No One Told Me About Suicide Grief

    September 4, 2019 by

    Grief is a unique journey. No two people will walk the same path, but there are some similarities we all experience. Here are the things I wish I knew I wasn’t alone in experiencing: The Fog Is Real The Grief Fog is thick and disorienting. In the first couple days/ weeks a feeling of confusion… Read more

  • What It Means to Love You Now

    August 19, 2019 by

    Someone once explained memories as light skipping through the trees as you look out the window of your car on a long drive— with little glimpses of their face flashing in our minds. Andy, I see your smile, your cute dance, you sitting on the couch playing guitar, as if an old movie reel plays… Read more

  • It’s okay to not be okay… A glimpse into PTSD

    August 14, 2019 by

    I was going to write a blog about the power of forgiveness or about the healing I have found in meditation during my grief journey after losing my fiance to suicide. (If you haven’t read my previous blogs, I witnessed my fiancé’s suicide by shotgun.) But honestly, today, I would feel like a fraud writing… Read more

  • A Letter to My Accusers

    August 9, 2019 by

    Dear people accusing me of murder, I understand wanting answers for something that makes no sense. I understand wanting someone to blame. Anger is easier than despair. I understand. It’s easier to be mad at someone than to feel the deep sense of loss that comes with Andy’s death. It was a tragic night that… Read more

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